Family Caregiving Is Complicated. Know When You Need Help. 

Most older people are happy, healthy, and self-reliant. However, aging often brings physical and mental changes that interfere with an active and independent lifestyle. Following are some tips from North Shore Compassionate Care, a boutique Home Care Agency headquartered in Highland Park.  

A decline in functional abilities does not necessarily mean a move to an assisted living or a nursing facility, but it may indicate a need for extra help to support a senior’s desire to age in place. Family members often step in to provide support and supervision but hiring in-home help may be necessary at some point to assist increasing care needs. 

Like most care decisions, knowing when to take steps is difficult. Keep in mind, if you’re already wondering if it’s time to find help, then the time is probably now. Ultimately, adding a companion, personal care assistant or home care aide to your care team will benefit you and your loved one. 

Consider the following factors to determine if home care could be helpful to you or your loved ones. 

How to Recognize the Need for Assistance 

Changes in personal appearance and household cleanliness typically indicate a shift in physical and/or mental status. Even subtle behavioral changes may imply that an elder is no longer willing or able to complete familiar tasks without support. Unopened mail is piling up or that Grandma, once meticulous about her appearance, is wearing dirty clothes and not doing her hair. These may be signs that help is needed. Other signs include inadequate fresh food in the house, evidence of weight loss, forgetting to take medications, or unexplained bruising that often points to changes in mobility or falling. 

Deviation from established personal hygiene routines is one of the most common red flags. Although seniors may not bathe as frequently as they did when they were younger, a strong smell of urine or body odor or refusal to change out of dirty clothes indicates that it’s time to step in. A noticeable decline in grooming habits and personal care is a sure sign that a senior is struggling physically and/or mentally to meet their own needs. 

New or worsening health issues often indicate that a senior requires a full medical workup and could benefit from increased assistance at home. A home care provider can assist an aging loved one monitor their vital signs, manage chronic medical conditions, navigate their medication regimen, and participate in therapy exercises that improve independence. 

Caregiver Stress and Fatigue 

If you are currently helping your loved one with activities of daily living (ADL’s) like eating, meal preparation, personal hygiene, dressing, housekeeping, transportation, shopping etc. consider how this added responsibility is affecting you, your family, and your other responsibilities. Caregiving is emotionally demanding and physically exhausting. It is important for family caregivers to recognize the signs of caregiver stress and fatigue and acknowledge when they need to share the workload. 

When the level of care a loved one requires becomes more than you can handle, or your level of involvement negatively impacts your work, relationships, finances and/or health, then it is time to investigate respite care. Hiring a caregiver for in-home help may be the best solution for everyone involved since it provides both you and your loved one with the support you need in a familiar environment. 

How to Start the Conversation About In-Home Help 

If you have noticed the signs and circumstances cited above, the time to discuss in-home care is sooner rather than later. Do not wait until a crisis occurs. 

Sadly, elder care is a delicate topic. So, how do you bring up sensitive subjects related to aging? North Shore Compassionate Care, a well-respected home care provider in Chicagoland area offers the following tips and conversation starters to help overcome the awkwardness. 

• Discuss your observations and ask your loved one what they think is going on. If they acknowledge the situation, ask what you can do to help and what they think would be some reasonable solutions. If a senior does not recognize the problem or shrugs it off, use concrete examples to support your concerns. (Refrain from correcting or arguing with dementia patients who may not be capable of recognizing their impairment. 

• Seniors will often go to great lengths to maintain their independence. Instead of focusing on how your loved one needs the extra help, emphasize that home care would be beneficial for you, too. Focus on the shared advantages of having an “extra pair of hands” available on a regular basis. Not only would these services reduce your stress levels, but they can also help extend your loved one’s independence and delay or prevent placement in a long-term care facility. 

• Remember that you are having a conversation with an adult, not talking to a child. Put yourself in their shoes and think of how you would want to be addressed in this situation. Patronizing speech will only put older adults on the defensive and convey disrespect. 

• Perhaps it would help to defer to an authority on this matter. Speak with their doctor about what you have observed. A physician who understands and shares your concerns will reinforce that accepting help at home is a crucial part of safely aging in place. Other sources of support in this decision might include a hospital social worker, a geriatric care manager or a respected friend. These individuals can serve as a neutral third party and more effectively present the benefits of hiring home care. 

Hiring In-Home Care for Elderly Loved Ones: What’s Next? 

Before you begin your search for a home care provider, it is important to understand the different types of services that are available and determine which would be the best addition to your loved one’s care plan. 

Caring for aging adults will always pose challenges and tough choices regarding their safety and independence. Fortunately, there are many resources available to help you to make confident caregiving decisions.